As I was walking over to the shared dumpster in my alley, I crossed paths with one of my neighbors as he was walking his dog. The dog was an absurd bug-eyed little black thing. The neighbor was wearing a T-shirt that said, “Unfiltered and Deplorable.”
I smiled at his dog, and did a little head-bobbing thing that dogs seem to like. I don’t like dogs to touch me or breathe on me, but I like to pull them off their planned trajectory. The dog lolled its tongue and veered towards me. The guy looked sheepish, the default emotion of dog owners when they’re in public with their pets.
Reader, I felt an odd rush of tenderness for this man and his defiant T-shirt. I was wearing a Kings of the Wild Frontier tee, and I thought, Well played, my friend. I don’t often get out-dorked.
My heart opened, and I had a sense of real companionship, best expressed as, Wow, yeah — if it helps to feel deplorable — if that gets you out of bed and dressed to walk the mini-dog — then God bless you.
I also resolved to get a T-shirt that says, “Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Know.” Because I feel like identifying as Deplorable is the 21st century’s answer to a Byronic pose. And a Lord Byron T-shirt would be a knockout punch of dork.
Total Covid-19 cases in Arizona: 442,671
Currently hospitalized: 3,931
Total deaths: 7,819